Former Stripper

I’ve been wanting to sit down and talk to you about something for a while now.  When I was 19, I worked for the men that bought Sliders as an exotic dancer in Ft Wayne.  I was attending college at the time and felt I needed the extra money because I was tired of being a “broke college student.”  I eventually met my husband at that bar when I was 22, still working there.  After graduating college and marriage, I felt it was WRONG to be employed in an establishment like that after entering into a sacred marriage. Come to find out, there was nothing sacred about it. I had great difficulty throughout my marriage which much of it stemmed back to the fact that I used to be a stripper.  I thought, “used to be,” wasn’t that good enough?  After having a very tragic event happen in our lives and after being ordered to take a psychological exam, I realized, through much of my employment at the club, I was very shut down emotionally.  I had little to no conscience about what I done.  I also knew how this had affected my relationships with my parents, my husband and even my children. I was deemed “emotionally detached” by the psychologist.
Through much counselling and being away from my now ex husband, I’ve felt myself start to heal.  I’m definitely not proud of my past, and see that it wasn’t just a “JOB.” It becomes a lifestyle. Luckily not for me, but some for the girls do get into heavy drinking, drugs, and promiscuity.  I don’t only feel for the families of the patrons that will visit this bar if it’s allowed in our community, but for the employees of such a place who will suffer from the emotional effects from working at such a place as I have.
Thankfully, through my journey through life, I found my way to this community, was blessed to find Fairview Missionary Church, and have been attending for the past 2 years. I’m grateful for my church family and the healing of hearing God’s word.